That's How It Goes
by Writer-4ever-and-always
Summary: Dean never thought the non-supernatural world would be the one to break him. Now he's left to pick up the pieces all alone and face the greatest challenge of his life. WINCEST! M for later.
1. Chapter 1

Dean couldn't tell his father and he couldn't call Sam because neither needed him.

He couldn't bring himself to shatter Sam's perfect world and he knew his father wouldn't care enough to help out...so he went to the only person he could think of.

"Hey Bobby...I'm in the hospital and I...I can't get out by myself."

Dean could hear Bobby's anxiety over the phone and he wished there was something he could to do to make it better, but this time he needed help.

"Damn it boy, if your not able to leave then you screwed up big this time. I need directions..."

Dean gave him what he needed and sat back, smiling as the nurse took the phone away, "I can leave right...as soon as he gets here?"

"Sure thing Mr. Kowalski, we have to inform him on your situation and what to do to help you and then you can go."

Dean had to fight away the anger at her for calling it a situation...made him sound weak.

He didn't know how long he waited...time was pretty much lost on him now. Man he really fucked up.

"Dean you awake?"

Bobby watched as the younger man's eyes snapped open. At first Bobby couldn't really tell what was wrong with the hunter. His arm was in a cast but he didn't look to be hurt...that was until Dean look a little to the left of where he was standing, "Bobby?"

It took a lot to scare Bobby but suddenly he felt the blood rush from his face and he had to take a breathe to settle himself, "You...you can't see?"

Dean sighed his face contorting into a look of sad anger, "No...fucking blind. Doc's say I have a ten percent chance I'll get my sight back."

Bobby gulped...this wasn't what he had expected...but he could handle this because he loved Dean like a son and he was going to let anything happen to him.

" Who did it happen? You tell your Dad or Sam?"

Dean snorted and shrugged, " God damn car accident...drunk drive. I just got done fighting a werewolf and a fucking drunk driver."

Bobby felt his throat constrict at the anger, desperation, and hurt that slipped off each word in Dean's mouth. He could also tell that Dean hadn't called his father or Sam, "Well is the Impala totaled-."

"Nah I had a rental car, Impala needed a tune up and normally I would have done it but I was worried about the werewolf..."

Dean still looked mad and Bobby couldn't imagine how he had to be feeling, "How long have you been in here?"

"Two weeks..."

Jesus Christ...two weeks. Bobby shook his head, Dean had been by himself...terrified for two weeks, "Damn it boy you should have called me!"

Dean looked ashamed but shook his head softly, "I didn't want to bother you Bobby...besides I was out of it for a while and they did a surgery to try and save my sight but..."

Bobby wanted to slap the boy but instead he scrapped his chair closer, grasped the boys shoulder and gave him a slight shake, "You are never a bother...do you understand you stubborn ass."

Dean smiled, a ghost of his normal smile, "Look I just need you to sign some paper and help me find a hotel, then an apartment."

Bobby snorted, "Hell no! You aren't staying here, it took me almost half day to drive here. You can come back with me for a few days, then we will find you something closer to me..."

Dean almost protested but he found he actually liked the idea of not being completely alone like he had for the last two weeks.

"Okay Bobby...let's go."

SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN

It took them a week to get Dean into a new house. An actual house that was cheap and came with most of the furniture in it. The landlord had given him to months free after Bobby had told him what happen, even though Dean had been pissed at the charity.

Bobby set up the salt lines, added some extra protection and then stood near the door. "You want me to stay for a few days? Help you get around and get your bearings?"

Dean tossed him a light smile, "I got this...but thanks Bobby...for everything...I..."

The older man snorted, "Don't mention it. I'll be done tomorrow to help with the job thing, and then Sunday, I'll being some dinner. Try not to fall down the stairs."

Dean flipped him off and waited until the front door to shut before he let out his breath.

It was weird...this new permanent darkness that he was stuck in. Sometimes in the morning when he would wake up the haze of sleep made him forget and he panicked.

He knew that it would take him a while to figure out the layout of his house but he had confidence. He could count steps and he and Bobby had some up with a great idea.

The doctor said his hearing would be heightened, wither it was a lot or just slightly varied from person to person, so he and Bobby put bells and fans, anything that would make noise in strategic around the house.

The knife drawer had bells, at the top of the stairs there was a fan to warn him not to fall and all boors had bells so that if anyone opened it he would hear.

He spent the rest of the day counting the bedroom and bathroom, which where upstairs. The only other thing was a closet and a spare room that they were going to turn into a weight room so he could stay toned.

His phone alarm went off periodically to alert him to the time and he groaned...he ignored lunch so now his body was grumbling and demanding food.

It took him an hour, three stubbed toes, a bruised hip, a burnt thumb and splintered fingers to make dinner and when he finally made it to bed, he sighed...fighting back the tears that threatened to spill...fucking drunk driver...

Nothing was fair for Dean and before the accident he had made peace with that...but now it was like he had to try all over again. He had to remind himself that this was what he deserved...and he had to live with this for the rest of his life.

That still didn't help when all he wanted to do was throw a temper tantrum and kick and scream, _Why me! _

So he rolled into a ball and pushed away his tears, because he was a Winchester and Winchesters did not cry.

SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN

Time was Dean's enemy now. Not only did it seem like on his free time it might swallow him whole, it was like everything was taking up to much of it.

It took him a week to map out his house and stop stubbing his toes.

It took him four days to get the girl at the grocery store to have someone deliver him groceries.

It took him and Bobby three weeks and some pulled favors to get him a job at a garage.

It took him three months to stop longing for a hunt.

It took him seven months to stop wishing his life was different...

His new life was hard, but Dean actually found he liked the challenge...maybe not as satisfying as burning bones but still he found he was learning to like it.

The garage had been the trickiest aspect of his new life. They were all nice to him at the garage and helped him come up with a plan for when he was fixing cars.

The owner Dominique was especially hard on him but he could tell that the older man liked him a lot.

Dean was the old car specialist in town but all he really needed was the type of car and he could go from there. If he had a question he just yelled out one of the guys names and they helped him out.

"Bugsy! Come here!"

He heard a shuffle and then, "Winchester you lazy ass, what do you want?"

Dean smiled at the friendly banter. According to Bobby, Bugsy was a plump, slightly balding man, in his early forties with two kids and a really good looking wife, "Me...Lazy? Come on, I know you were sitting over there smoking a cigarette."

He heard footsteps and they where close enough for him to recognize them as Otto's, a red headed pyro who liked to dance, "You amaze me Winchester, you sure you're blind?"

Dean grinned, he loved how none of the guys treated him different, "I can smell it and I could hear him tapping on the steps."

Otto snorted, "Okay Ben Affleck."

Dean let out a chuckle, "Bugsy, tell me what this it...I can't tell but I think the problem with the lady's car has to do with her kids."

Bugsy started laughing and Dean knew he had been right, one of the lady's kids had some gotten a toy soldier under the hood.

"Whatcha laughing at Bug?"

Stevenson was the second in command and was attractive, apprently sexy with brown hair and blue eyes (the bagger girl at the grocery store told him so). Dean liked him a lot because he reminded him of Sammy...and even though it hurt, he felt the ache in his chest smooth out a little when he was around.

Bugsy laughed even harder and showed it to him, and Stevenson let out a laugh before clapping Dean on the shoulder, "I'll call Mrs. Johnson and let her know her car is all fixed."

Dean nodded his agreement, and reached to shut the hood but could feel Bugsy staring at him, "What is it Bug?"

The old man let out a small sigh, "I wish you could see the way Stevenson looked at you...you still all standoffish about dating him?"

Dean felt his throat go dry and he nodded, "Yeah. I got my reasons Bug. And standoffish? Really what are you ninety?"

He knew the thump was coming before it came so when he got the bump on the top of his head he smiled, "You got a ride home Winchester?"

He nodded his head and looked towards his boss's voice, "Sure do Dom, aww were you worried about me?"

Dominique's voice was low and rough and Dean could hear it farther away than everyone else's, which made him smile...it reminded him of his dad. "Can it Winchester, you make me money and I don't want you dying in some ditch...I'd be out a good chunk of cash."

Dean knew the man worried about him and he liked that because it reminded him of Bobby...who was becoming somewhat of a hero to Dean.

"Right, I'm sure that's the reason. Brandy is picking me up, she has my groceries."

He heard Otto's voice coming from a near by car, "Winchester ever since you got here you've been stealing all the woman's hearts...and even some of the men's too!"

He heard them all chuckle and Dean tried not to blush. It was true, Bobby told him all the time about how many people talked about him...

Dean heard Brandy's truck coming closer and he flipped Otto off and counted his steps out to the truck...Brandy always made sure she parked in the right spot, "See ya ladies!"

He really liked Brandy, she was happy and talkative, and always making him relax, which was weird because he normally hated chatty people.

It amazed him how much his new life had changed him, because now he couldn't see colors or shapes and he couldn't see the looks on people's faces, so he loved listening to Brandy talk because she over explained everything...she was a kindergarden teacher.

"Dean, how was your day?"

He grunt, but smiled knowing she understood, "Better now that I'm away from those yahoos."

She snickered as they pulled out, "You love them don't lie...So..."

Dean turned to look at her as her voice shifted from playful to anxious and he reach out to grab her hand. She squeezed it and took a deep breath, her words coming out a little rushed and quivering, "I am officially pregnant...and Chad...he...he said he didn't want anything to do with me..."

Dean felt his heart squeeze and he clenched his jaw, "So you want me to kick his ass?"

She sniffled and let out a small chuckle, "No...It just hurts. Do you think maybe...maybe I could stay on your couch... I wouldn't be long, I just don't want to move back in with my mother-."

"Brandy you can stay as long as you want. I'll get Bobby up to move all the weight stuff to the garage and we can set up a guest bedroom."

He could hear her about to protest and he waved his hand, cutting off her protest, "You can help me out so it wont be charity. I need rides to work and groceries; you need a place to stay."

Suddenly the sniffling was back full force, "Dean...your an angel."

He laughed, "Far from and Angel. Your my best friend Brand...it's the least I can do."

His phone rang and he smiled at her before flipping it open, expecting it to be, "Hello?"

"...Dean?"

Dean felt his whole body tense, "Sam...?"


	2. Chapter 2

There were a lot of things that Dean didn't like about his life. His mom dying was one; actually it seemed to be the event that started everything else he hated in his life.

If he wasn't so manly he would say he had a list…

His dad never being proud of him, never really loving him like he loved Sam.

Never fully protecting his brother.

Sam leaving.

Sam never calling him.

Sam never writing.

Sam ignoring his calls.

Loving Sam as more than a brother.

Being blind.

So Dean admitted that when his brother called him he freaked, managed an "I'm busy, I'll call you back," and then sat there. He knew he probably looked terrified on the outside which explained why Brandy called Bobby, and the man was now sitting across from him at the table.

"You just hung up on him."

Dean sighed and rubbed his hands across his face, "I didn't want to have the conversation in the car with Brandy..."

"So call him back."

He couldn't tell Bobby the real reason he didn't want to call Sam back. He knew Bobby saw it as stubborn pride...but it actually hurt talking to Sam. It hurt in so many different ways that Dean just didn't want to think about.

His phone rang again and he jumped, snapping it open out of habit, because he really wanted to throw it across the room, "Hello..."

"Dean! Jeez man, a guy could get gray hair waiting for you to call."

Dean tried to think about how he would react, normally without the hole that seemed to be aching in his chest.

"Yeah well I got more important things than you Sammy. What's up?"

He heard a snort and then a long pause started to get him nervous, "Well, I graduate in two months..."

Dean already knew that. He had it marked on the calendar, the lady in the administrator's office told him when he called.

"Hmm..."

He didn't say anything, just waited for Sam to get to the point. Sam hadn't called in four years so something had to be up.

"I thought, maybe if you were coming down for my graduation, I could come back with you and...hang out. Do a couple hunts, just like old times, before I go to law school."

Dean wasn't sure how long he sat there, maybe seconds maybe minutes, but his brain just wasn't working like he wanted. Why...why did he want to come back now?

And suddenly it all became clear; it was a going away present of some sort. Like 'Hey I'm going to law school and getting my degree, getting a wife and 2.5 kids so this will probably be the last time I see you...ever'

Dean felt the hole expand in his chest, and he didn't realize he had slid the phone away until Bobby took it and spoke to Sam.

His heart was soaring; anytime with Sam was a dream come true. Besides he should be happy that Sammy was finally getting the _safety _and his _normalcy _he so desperately wanted_. _

On the other hand, his brain was angry, searing mad. He wanted to rip the phone from Bobby and tell Sam to fuck off. He'd lived four years without him so there was no sense coming back now.

But that stupid internal...thing that always whispered _protect Sammy _and _never let Sam get hurt, _made up his mind for him. He just told his brain that it would have to suffer, hurting and getting mad when Sam left.

He turned towards Bobby when the man set the phone down, the noise startling him out of his thoughts. He could tell just by the force of Bobby putting the phone on the table that the man was angry, "You haven't told them? Either of them?"

He flinched, "Sam hasn't called in four years, and he hasn't answered my calls. The only way I even knew his graduation was in two months was because I called the office and told them my idiot brother forgot to tell our family when graduation was."

Dean didn't hear Bobby for a minute and then the man let out a huge sigh, "What about your dad? He's called me twice checking in on some things..."

"He's called twice, texted me coordinates four times. I sent them to some other hunters told them my dad thought something was going on. They handled it."

He wasn't going to let innocent people die because he was blind. He might not be the smarter of the brothers, but he wasn't stupid. He always got the job done somehow.

"Well, we're going to Stanford in two months so you better tell work."

Dean tensed all over and grabbed the edge of table for support, "What?"

He heard Bobby chuckle and then heard the man make his way through the kitchen, "Yeah, Sam's sending tickets and when it's done we're going to grab a bite with some of his friends, crash at his house and then hightail it back here."

Dean started to stutter; this wasn't something he was prepared for. Before the accident he had just planned on showing up, watching his brother walk and then leaving before he was noticed...now Sam was going to see him, "Bobby! He's gonna freak when he sees me like this."

He heard pans clacking together, "Well you have two months to tell him, but you are right...it's not a real good conversation starter."

He growled and Bobby just sighed, "I'm sorry Dean, but this is a chance for you to be with your family and if-if I had a...I miss having a family, Dean...you're like my son, and I want you happy."

Dean sighed and shook his head, "You had me at 'chance'."

SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN

He really did try to call Sam, twice actually, but the man was busy with finals and never could talk, so Dean just left it up to fate.

"Why not ask Stevenson to go?"

Dean shot Brandy a look, and just by her chuckle he knew she found his situation hilarious. In the two months up to Sam's graduation he and Bobby had moved Brandy in, and he found that he actually loved having her around.

"Yeah right! And say what? 'Hey Stevenson, I'm going to my brother's graduation, whom I've never told you about, and I was wondering if you wanted to go and keep me company, because I know Bobby is going to fake a headache and leave me alone.'"

Brandy chuckled as she helped him pack his clothes, "Would he really leave you alone?"

Dean sighed and shrugged, "Probably not now...unless Stevenson went then he totally would."

"Well, I'd ask him."

So he did.

Now Stevenson was driving the Impala, and that took a lot of trust. He made sure Stevenson realized that, and he was really happy to hear his Baby running again.

Dean was listening to Bobby snoring softly in the back before Stevenson's voice cut into his thoughts, "So...tell me about this brother I've never even heard about."

Dean blushed knowing that it had been a surprise to the whole garage when he told them, "He's, well, he used to be tall...I mean Sasquatch huge, even at eighteen. He used to have this mop of brown hair that completely fell out at one point in time..."

"Nair in the shampoo?"

Dean shot him a huge grin, "You actually remind me of him...your personality...how everyone just likes you automatically, especially old people."

He heard Stevenson laugh and he smiled, liking the sound of it, "So why the falling out?"

Dean scratched the back of his head, he hadn't really thought about what he was going to say...he didn't want Sam's story to be different, "I-I don't really know anymore. I think it was because he left, it sort of felt like a betrayal."

After that Stevenson let Sam drop from their conversation, and they just talked about everything. It was nice to be back in the car again...just like old times.

At one point Bobby and Stevenson where talking so Dean leaned his head slightly outside the window, closing his eyes against the wind, even though the blackness was there either way.

He could imagine mountains barely moving past, and cactuses-or cacti-or whatever whipping past. It made him sad to think about, and he found tears stinging his eyes. Stupid cacti…

He was appalled at his own weakness and shut his eyes tighter, locking his jaw and breathing through his nose. This was his life now, and it might suck worse than his old life, but he could deal with it. He had to.

Dean repeated it to himself over and over until he fell asleep, dreaming of tall brown and hazel colors swirling around a barely flickering green...

SNSNSNSNSNSNSN

**Sooo? What do you think! Next up, the meeting! Everybody say 'Oooooo and Ahhhh" **

** Oh and the dreams, I read in a book (idk which one) that blind people do dream but it's in colors...but I don't know if that's blind from birth or becoming blind by accident...sorry if anyone **_**really**_** hates it...**


	3. Chapter 3

"Dean! Wake up!"

He shot awake, and freaking a little he reached for his gun, which was safely on his hip. He had recently gotten his permit to carry a concealed weapon...Bobby's idea.

"What the hell Bobby?"

He heard Stevenson laughing and Bobby chuckling so he growled loudly before trying to listen to his surroundings, "Where are we?"

His door opened and Bobby was next to him in seconds. Stevenson was on his other side, he wouldn't really need his walking stick right now, but later when everyone was visiting he would need it to navigate.

Dean was actually really fond of the stick Bobby had gotten him for his birthday. It was all black, and a very sharp knife was hidden inside of the end of it. He had grinned at it for three days straight before Bobby had made fun of him.

He heard so many people that it actually hurt; there had to be hundreds. He winced and felt Stevenson and Bobby shifting closer. They started forward and Dean could feel the people moving out of his way, "I'm like Moses."

He heard the two men chuckle, and he relaxed, trusting them to steer him in the right direction.

One of the perks of being blind was that they got good seats...well good seats according to his standards. Bobby had asked for a seat in the back, at the exit and Dean felt better just knowing he had a quick get away. He felt less caged then if he had been in the middle.

He was trying to think of excuses to not see Sam, but he knew it was useless. He was a selfish bastard, and he wanted to be near Sam.

The ceremony seemed to take forever, but he had to remind himself again, that time worked differently for him, "How long's it been?"

Stevenson chuckled, "Dean, calm down; it's been about an hour. They should be giving out degrees now."

He let out a sigh and fiddled with the end of his stick, waiting as the two boring monotone men started to list off names, and he wanted to scream! Curse his last name for being in the W's!

It took longer than the first hour, which he knew was probably because he was nervous, but soon it was there, "Samuel Winchester."

Dean's breath caught in his throat, because suddenly despite all the people being there he could _feel_ his brother. He could sense him. But the craziest part was a picture so bright flashed in his mind, his brother walking across the stage, holding up his degree, a huge grin on his face. It was a like a picture or a movie...he could see his brother!

He barely registered a loud group cheering for his brother because it was too much. Sam was too close and he freaked, "Stevenson...I have to get out...now!"

Dean practically ran from his seat, ignoring a woman with a nice rich voice asking him if he was okay. He got away and felt for something to lean against. He managed to find a wall and he sank down, trying to breathe.

"Dean! Are you okay?"

He couldn't help himself, and he reached for Bobby's shoulder, gripping it tightly, just to ground himself, "Too much...just...too much."

Dean could feel Bobby nodding, and he slowly whispered what happened to him, trying to smile at Stevenson, "I know this sounds crazy but...I could fell him...I knew exactly where he was...I could _see_ him walking across the stage! He had his degree in his hand and that dopey grin on his face!"

Stevenson was touching his cheek but Dean couldn't seem to care, "Maybe your sights coming back?"

Dean could feel the tears trailing down his face, "No...It's dark now...but it was so much. So many colors, clear as day..."

It took him half an hour to calm down. By then he heard people exiting, and they stood up following the crowd to where they were supposed to wait. He could feel Bobby looking around, and then it hit him again. No picture this time, but he could sense him, "He's close...near the doors I think, not too far away."

Without the picture he was less sure. He could have walked to him perfectly fine but he was nervous and, something that he hated to admit, scared.

He felt Bobby walk away towards Sam, as the comfort of his presence left, he felt even more uncomfortable.

"Stevenson...what if...what..."

He felt the man nudge him and in a low voice he muttered, "It's going to be all right. When we get back I'll take you to the doctor. All you need to worry about is making up with your brother."

He shot the man a smile and then straightened, feeling Sam coming his way.

SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN

Sam was happy, talking to his friends, but he was searching for his brother or Bobby. He kept waiting to see his brother's swagger or Bobby's trucker hat.

"So this mysterious brother...where is he?"

He smiled at his friends' curiosity, which he supposed was his fault because he had talked about Dean very little and then informed everyone he was coming, with his stepdad, Bobby.

He had met everyone else's families, and his was the only one that was surrounded in so much mystery.

"Sam."

Sam relaxed as soon as he heard Bobby's gruff voice and he turned. His grin slipped only for a second when he noticed Dean wasn't with him, but his heart was sinking to the floor.

"Bobby!"

He yanked the man to him and crushed him into a hug. "Bobby this is Jess, Andrew, Morgan, and Chris, guys this is my stepfather Bobby Singer."

He could see the slight smile in Bobby's eyes when he said stepfather, and he grinned, "So Dean..."

Bobby instantly looked nervous, "You...there's something you should now about Dean, Sam. He-he's here but he's not himself."

Sam immediately thought possession, but he just knew Bobby wasn't a demon; nor was Dean, "What's wrong with him?"

He couldn't ignore Bobby's sad look, and he felt his heart tightening in his chest. His friends were watching intently and Bobby smiled at them, "Could you guys maybe...umm give us a few minutes?"

They all smiled and nodded, watching Sam's frightened features before splitting up to see their families, "We'll meet you at the pub Sam."

"What's wrong Bobby?" Bobby just sighed and signaled for him to follow. Sam maneuvered around people and searched for Dean. He relaxed when he saw Dean's leather jacket...at least he looked to be in one piece.

"Dean!"

His heart was hammering in his chest, and he stopped a few feet away from Dean, waiting for his big brother to turn around. He saw Dean hesitate and then turn.

Sam thought his heart might have stopped beating because nothing could have prepared him for this...

Dean was looking slightly to the left of him, his green eyes looking scared and worried. He was gripping his walking stick like a lifeline, "Sammy..."

SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN

Dean could feel Sam's eyes on him, and he could feel Stevenson shifting closer to him. He cleared his throat ready to try again, but he was smashed into a hug before he could react. He could feel Sam shaking, and he snapped back to reality, wrapped his arms around his younger brother and squeezed him tight. "It's okay Sammy. It's okay."

Dean knew he was mumbling so low not even Stevenson could hear him, but he knew Sam could and that was all that mattered.

They sat like that for a good five minutes before Sam pulled back and sniffled, "Damn it Dean...what...what happened?"

He chuckled a little nervously and rubbed the back of his head, "Can we...can we go and meet your friends..."

Bobby cut in before Sam could protest, "Sam this is Stevenson. He works with Dean at the garage."

Dean could hear Stevenson shift forward and shake Sam's hand, before returning to his side. He had to smile at that; he knew that man was worried about him.

They met Sam's friends, and he learned all of Sam's friends names and characterized them how he did everyone else, Morgan had a very high voice, and it squeaked sometimes when she talked; Andrew had a slight dip at the end of his words; Chris had a small British accent and Jess had a deeper voice that always seemed a bit hesitant.

He could tell they were all a little freaked out by him, and he tried very hard to be sociable, but his head was starting to hurt and he was exhausted from all that had happened earlier.

"Sam, could you show us back to your apartment? Dean got a little overwhelmed by all the people and the sounds, and I think he might be tired."

Dean could almost kiss Stevenson, "Stevenson's making me sound all girly but he's right...I feel like shit."

"Sure that's fine! I'll call you guys later!"

Sam hugged them all for a bit, and Dean resisted the urge to run his hands over his eyes, he had a horrible migraine.

He barely remembered the trip, besides Sam cooing over Baby and asking to drive. Before he knew it he was handed some aspirin and then he passed out.

When he woke up he was panting, and he fought back the panic of being in the dark again. He felt a hand on his head and jumped before realizing it was Sam, "Sammy? What time is it?"

He could hear the smile in Sam's voice, and he felt all of his muscles relax, "Morning."

Dean scrunched his brows together and then groaned, "Oh shit Sammy, I'm sorry. You still went and saw your friends, right?"

"Nah. We already said good bye and they understood. I was really worried about you; you slept like the dead."

Dean wanted to protest but then he paused, "Where are Bobby and Stevenson?"

"Getting coffee."

Suddenly he was too close to Sam, and it was like his body was awake. He could feel himself wanting to lean into Sam and pull him close, so instead he cleared his throat and stood up, "Bathroom?"

Before he could stop it, Sam wrapped an arm around his waist and led him to the bathroom. Dean could feel his face heating up, and he tried to ignore Sam's arm.

Making it to the bathroom almost felt like an impossible task.

"There's a sink on the left, toilet in that same corner and a shower on the opposite wall."

He nodded, slamming the door to put space between them. It took Dean a while to take a shower, find a towel, and calm down.

Being this close to Sam made his chest feel better, but it also made old scars flame. It made another part of him, that he knew was sick and he partly hated, feel all giddy.

He needed to focus on what was important. Being there for Sam, spending time with him while he was around, and just enjoying him...even though he wasn't a hundred percent sure he could.

When Bobby got back Dean was able to put distance between himself and Sam. It made things easier because now he got to listen to Sam's life without having to discuss the things bothering him.

They had to keep it G-rated for Stevenson but as far as Dean could tell Sam's life was normal...he had achieved his goal.

There where a lot of different emotions running through him.

_Anger_- he was mad that Sam left…

_Jealousy_- because he sometimes wished that he could be normal...

_Hurt- _Sam had a new life and there was no room for him in it, especially now…

_Happiness__**- **_he cared about Sam more than anything in the entire world. Sam

was his life even when Sam left and forgot him at college…

_Love- _brotherly and horribly "_in love..."_

__Sam told stories about the funny things that he and his friends did and in turn Bobby told him about some of the things he had been up too. Stevenson told Sam about the garage. Dean tried to stay silent; he didn't trust his voice, body, or mind.

"Well we best be going Sam. You got your stuff packed?"

Stevenson helped him down to the car as Bobby and Sam went to gather his things, "You're being really quiet Dean."

Dean shrugged, "Not much to say to him."

He could feel Stevenson staring at him, "You could tell him about your new life."

Dean shrugged, "It's nothing compared to this. He's wanted normal since he was ten; I'm far from normal."

Dean liked Stevenson because the man seemed to know when Dean needed things to end. Dean could handle some things, but at times things would get to be too much or too big for him, and he would just need to stop.

He climbed in the passenger seat because he hated being in the back seat. He hadn't been back there since he was a kid, and he hated the feeling.

"Can I drive?"

He heard Sam yell from the stair's leading outside, "Hell no."

Dean could imagine the puppy dog look that Sam was giving him, and he even heard Stevenson chuckle, "Oh come on Dean! You let Bobby drive."

Bobby was laughing as he threw some things in the trunk, "Come on Dean I've been cramped up driving the whole time."

He rolled his eyes and he motioned in Stevenson's direction, "You got anything to throw in?"

Dean could hear the smile in Stevenson's voice, "Well, he hasn't driven it in, what, almost four years?"

He could feel Sam standing next to his window and he sighed, "Fine. But if you put one scratch on my Baby."

Sam let out a loud whoop, and Dean shook his head rubbing his eyes because this was going to be a long ride.


End file.
